Monday, October 5, 2009

Douchebag MLS Blog Post of the Year Award: Crew(tard) Edition

Good freaking god. Check out this post at the official Columblebee Crew Blog. The author claims that GBS missed his PK because the spot had been dug up by Marshall. Nothing to do with GBS going down the middle one two many times on all those PKs that the Crew have been awarded on blatant dives this year.

Here's what they cite as evidence:




















Looks pretty darn convincing, don't it? That blog is the official voice of the Columbus Crew. No wonder why they suck so bad and have to rely on cheap gimmicks like drawing PKs with dives to win games.

SCREW YOU, CREWTARDS.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Gene Wilder Has A Message for the Portland Timbers

After a record-breaking season in the USL, the Portland Timbers have been eliminated from the playoffs from future hated team the Vancouver Whitecraps. Here is what Gene Wilder had to say:

Friday, September 25, 2009

Giant Match Fixing Scandal Brewing in Europe (Again)

Here we go again. 40 teams are implicated in a match fixing scandal in Europe. The games cover Champions League, UEFA Cup and Europa Cup fixtures. Of course the sophisticated Europeans are blaming it on a few bad seeds from Eastern Europe (gee, it's not like AC Milan or FC Porto would get caught up in match-fixing now would they?)

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Saragosa Suspended Two Games for Montero Facial

Here's some more soccer violence for ya!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52t5ifcmoxM&NR=1&feature=fvwp

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

MLS Set to Recognize FIFA World Cup


For all of its existence, MLS has stood fast in its belief that the World Cup does not warrant a pause in league play. The joke was always that there wouldn't be any MLS players in the World Cup so what's the big deal? Well, it appears that someone at MLS HQ has convinced the bigwigs that the World Cup is, indeed, a legitimate soccer tournament worthy of league stoppage. This represents an enormous sea change in MLS ideology and may signal that the people running MLS have actually started watching soccer.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

And You Thought Josh Wicks Was Nuts...

Check out what Adebayor does to Van Persie at 11 seconds...

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Dallas destroys LA Galaxy 6-3 at LA

LA played the worst half of soccer I've seen since Montreal's Epic Fail against Santos Laguna in last year's Champions League. Dallas absolutely owned the midfield and the offensive zone. It was really embarrasing to watch LA revert back to it's unbalanced crappy self after the nice little run it had put together.

And Up the Table They Go!

Sounders beat DC United 2-1 tonight, earning 3 points and pushing them up the league table, at least until the rest of the weekend games are decided. The Ravers almost blew it by giving up a 1-0 lead in the second half, but Fredy Montero put them back ahead late in the game. Ljungberg was absent due to yellow cards but that didn't seem to matter at all to the Sounders since their passes and crosses were crisp and their defending stout. Sounders now have 37 points. Figure they need 40 to 43 total points to make it to the playoffs and they're looking pretty good going into the rest of the regular season.

Anyone else notice that the Sounders score lots of goals when Levesque subs in? Add all those created opportunities with two US Open Cup and you come to the inevitable conclusion that he's a screaming deal at $40,000 per year.

We Aren't Crying for You, Argentina!

Argentina loses 1-0 to mighty Paraguay. They are now in a desperate race to claim the fifth non-guaranteed World Cup entry spot in CONMEBOL. Another nail in Maradona's coaching coffin:



Maradona is now 1-4 in World Cup Qualifying matches as a manager. His team can't stand him.

Imagine a World Cup without Lionel Messi? It might happen...

Friday, September 11, 2009

Sounders Salaries Released

MLS has released the Sounders salaries and it makes for very interesting reading, particularly since you, dear reader, probably make more than many of them. Leonardo Gonzalez is not on the list. Freddie Ljungberg is our top paid player by a mile at $1.3M. Kasey Keller is next at $300,000, and then the salaries drop all the way down to $20,000. Here is our opinion on the wages of each player:

Player Salary Judgement
Freddie Ljungberg $1,314,000 - Overpaid: lack of leadership / screams at refs
Kasey Keller $300,000 - No amount is too much for KaKe.
Nate Jaqua $208,121 - Fair deal, but Montero should be up here
Steve Zakuani $163,000 - Needs to start scoring at that pay level
Tyrone Marshall $161,250 - Must have a good agent
Peter Vagenas $158,400 - Fair deal: why doesn't he start more Sigi?
Fredy Montero $155,000 - Should be higher than Jaqua but he's younger
Nathan Sturgis $133,000 - 5 starts at that salary? Trade bait.
Sebastien Le Toux $112,000 - Underpaid: Huge heart and a better free kicker than Ljungberg (hell, Vagenas is a better corner kicker than Ljungberg)
James Riley $72,625 - Underpaid: Rock solid at right defence
Patrick Ianni $72,000 - Underpaid: Goal of the week / adds depth on D
Osvaldo Alonso $65,000 - Are you freaking serious? Way underpaid
Taylor Graham $55,000 - Stanford grads are always overpaid.
Chris Eylander $45,500 - Underpaid: Keller backup
Brad Evans $44,550 - MASSIVELY UNDERPAID - National Team Player
Roger Levesque $40,008 - MASSIVELY UNDERPAID - 2 US Open Cup Game Winners
Zach Scott $40,008 - Trade bait
Jhon Kennedy Hurtado $37,000 - MASSIVELY UNDERPAID - As good as Marshall
Tyson Wahl $34,650 - On his way out with arrival of Gonzalez
Ben Dragavon $34,000 - No opinion, but also a cool name
Stephen King $34,000 - Underpaid: Adds depth at midfield + cool name
Sanna Nyassi $20,100 - And the award for most underpaid Sounders goes to...Sanna Nyassi! The guy comes in late in most games and is solid at midfield, has more appearances and shots than Vagenas, and adds attacking depth at midfield.

Observations: The Sounders are following the MLS rule where you pay all your money to attackers and goalies and throw in some cheap defenders. Hopefully the signing of Gonzalez is evidence that the Sounders understand that you actually need quality defenders on a professional soccer team.

Financial Analysis:The Sounders are selling 33,000 tickets per game at about $25 per ticket. This works out to $825000 per game in gate receipts alone, or over $16M for the season. Typically, you'd expect salaries to equal 40% - 60% of a team's gate receipts, but the Sounders are paying out about 25%. Of course, with the salary cap they are restricted on what they can spend. The question is: what are they going to do with all that money?

Conclusion: You could sign ten Latin American stars for the price of Freddie Ljungberg, all of who would run circles around most MLS defenders. Houston understands this and have signed young Latin American star Lundin as their designated player.

The future of MLS lies in Latin America, not Europe.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

DC United beats KC

DC United beat KC at RFK stadium tonight. DC continues to climb the table in the east. The one good thing for the Sounders out of the game is that DC only has 3 days to prepare for the Sounders-United matchup on Saturday.

We still hate DC.

USMNT Watch: US squeaks by Trinidad

Team USA beat Trinidad 1-0 in Trinidad this evening. Bob Bradley started Ricardo Clark in place of Benny Feilhaber and the move paid off when Clark scored the game's only goal at 65 minutes. Landon Donovan had a nice assist on the goal. Trinidad came out firing and dominated the first half of play, but ran out of steam late in the first half and never recovered their mojo. No yellows were handed out to the US side this game, so we're in good shape heading into the Honduras matchup on October 10th. The US is now, at least temporarily, at the top of the CONCACAF World Cup qualifying group.

ESPN Highlights are here

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

US MNT: Next World Cup Qualifier Wednesday at 4pm

The US Men's team is playing their next World Cup qualifier in Trinidad on Wednesday. Game time is 4pm Pacific, and the game will be broadcast on ESPN Classic and Telefutura. The boys should be looking sharp playing so soon after the El Salvador game in Salt Lake City. Trinidad is on the verge of elimination, so they'll be bringing everything they have to the match.

Card Situation / Roster:
Jay Demerit won't make the trip because he is not in game shape after his groin injury. Conor Casey also isn't making the trip. Gooch Onyewu is back from a yellow card suspension, so the defense should be better this game (not that it wasn't very strong against El Salvador). Landon Donovan, Jozy Altidore, Carlos Bocanegra, Ricardo Clark, Clint Dempsey, Benny Feilhaber and Steve Cherundolo are all carrying cards into the game. None of them can afford a yellow or they will have to sit out the critical Honduras qualifier on October 10th. This should make for a disciplined game like we saw against El Salvador when no yellow cards were handed out to the US side.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Maradona Just About Finished in Argentina

Argentina's chances of qualifying for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa dropped a little more last night after a 3-1 lost to Brazil. Columbia did Argentina favor by beating Ecuador, but Argentina now has to fight with Columbia and Ecuador for the final qualifying spot in the South American region. A recent poll estimated that 65% of Argentinians don't think that their side will qualify.

US MNT Watch: US 2:1 El Salvador

The national team came from behind to beat El Salvador 2-1 last night in Salt Lake City last night. The goal scorers were Clint Dempsey and Jozy Altidore. Charlie Davies had a goal called back on a terrible offside call. Landon Donovan continued his superb national team playing, and Tim Howard looked sharp despite his recent weak Premier League playing. Mexico beat up former group leader Costa Rica 3-0 and Honduras beat Trinidad 4-1. The results leave the US in second place in CONCACAF group behind Honduras on goal differential. Mexico moves into the third and final spot that guarantees a rip to South Africa next year, just ahead of Costa Rica on goal differential.:

Saturday, September 5, 2009

MLS Results: Good For The Sounders

Going into today, the Sounders were in fifth place overall in the MLS with 34 points. Six teams in playoff contention faced off today, with the overall results being pretty good for the Sounders. The Revolution (33 points, tied for sixth overall with Colorado, Salt Lake, and Chivas)got spanked by Kansas City (out of the race at 21 points). DC United (32 points, 10th overall) tied FC Dallas to move up to the sixth-place 5-way at 33 points. The one variable result as far as the Sounders are concerned was Colorado's defeat of Toronto. This moved Colorado up to 36 points, taking the fifth place spot and dropping Seattle down to sixth place.

So the table looks like this:

Houston - 40 points
Columbus - 39 points
LA Galaxy - 38 points
Chicago - 38 points
Colorado - 36 points
Seattle - 34 points
NE Revolution - 33 points
DC United - 33 points
Chivas - 33 points
Real Salt Lake - 33 points

RSL, Chivas, and the Revolution have all been looking strong, so it is still a hard fight for the Sounders to make the playoffs, but at least today's results tilted in our benefit!

Friday, September 4, 2009

If Hitler Ran Chelsea...

From soccerblog.com:

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

MLS Playoff Picture

MLSNet has a good overview of the playoff picture as it now stands (click image for video):

US Open Cup Highlights

Game highlights here

Award ceremony

We Just Won the US Open Cup


We Just Won the US Open Cup!
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We Just Won the US Open Cup!
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Montero got the first go-o-o-al
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Wicks got kicked out for stomping Fre-e-dy!
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USL connection got us a second goal!
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Le Toux to Levesque then it was in the net!
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Ljungberg didn't yell at the re-e-ef!
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He just laughed and kept on play-a-ing
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DC made it close with a late go-o-al
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But they couldn't get a second sco-o-re!
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DC wins trophies but not this ti-i-ime!
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We Just Won the US Open Cup!