Douchebag MLS Blog Post of the Year Award: Crew(tard) Edition

Good freaking god. Check out this post at the official Columblebee Crew Blog. The author claims that GBS missed his PK because the spot had been dug up by Marshall. Nothing to do with GBS going down the middle one two many times on all those PKs that the Crew have been awarded on blatant dives this year.

Here's what they cite as evidence:




















Looks pretty darn convincing, don't it? That blog is the official voice of the Columbus Crew. No wonder why they suck so bad and have to rely on cheap gimmicks like drawing PKs with dives to win games.

SCREW YOU, CREWTARDS.

Gene Wilder Has A Message for the Portland Timbers

After a record-breaking season in the USL, the Portland Timbers have been eliminated from the playoffs from future hated team the Vancouver Whitecraps. Here is what Gene Wilder had to say:

Giant Match Fixing Scandal Brewing in Europe (Again)

Here we go again. 40 teams are implicated in a match fixing scandal in Europe. The games cover Champions League, UEFA Cup and Europa Cup fixtures. Of course the sophisticated Europeans are blaming it on a few bad seeds from Eastern Europe (gee, it's not like AC Milan or FC Porto would get caught up in match-fixing now would they?)

Saragosa Suspended Two Games for Montero Facial

Here's some more soccer violence for ya!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52t5ifcmoxM&NR=1&feature=fvwp

MLS Set to Recognize FIFA World Cup

For all of its existence, MLS has stood fast in its belief that the World Cup does not warrant a pause in league play. The joke was always that there wouldn't be any MLS players in the World Cup so what's the big deal? Well, it appears that someone at MLS HQ has convinced the bigwigs that the World Cup is, indeed, a legitimate soccer tournament worthy of league stoppage. This represents an enormous sea change in MLS ideology and may signal that the people running MLS have actually started watching soccer.

And You Thought Josh Wicks Was Nuts...

Check out what Adebayor does to Van Persie at 11 seconds...

Dallas destroys LA Galaxy 6-3 at LA

LA played the worst half of soccer I've seen since Montreal's Epic Fail against Santos Laguna in last year's Champions League. Dallas absolutely owned the midfield and the offensive zone. It was really embarrasing to watch LA revert back to it's unbalanced crappy self after the nice little run it had put together.

And Up the Table They Go!

Sounders beat DC United 2-1 tonight, earning 3 points and pushing them up the league table, at least until the rest of the weekend games are decided. The Ravers almost blew it by giving up a 1-0 lead in the second half, but Fredy Montero put them back ahead late in the game. Ljungberg was absent due to yellow cards but that didn't seem to matter at all to the Sounders since their passes and crosses were crisp and their defending stout. Sounders now have 37 points. Figure they need 40 to 43 total points to make it to the playoffs and they're looking pretty good going into the rest of the regular season.

Anyone else notice that the Sounders score lots of goals when Levesque subs in? Add all those created opportunities with two US Open Cup and you come to the inevitable conclusion that he's a screaming deal at $40,000 per year.

We Aren't Crying for You, Argentina!

Argentina loses 1-0 to mighty Paraguay. They are now in a desperate race to claim the fifth non-guaranteed World Cup entry spot in CONMEBOL. Another nail in Maradona's coaching coffin:



Maradona is now 1-4 in World Cup Qualifying matches as a manager. His team can't stand him.

Imagine a World Cup without Lionel Messi? It might happen...